(Episode 2) My Days in Trixwin by Kelvin Ossai
Favour: you, what's your name?
Me: ehmmmmm(my device for being funny when I want to be- how can someone guess his name?) my name is Kelvin. Aproko people call me Kelv and uncompleted people call me Kelvin Little.
Favour: (laughing) stop jhor. You'll kill somebody with laugh o.
Me: (correct- if only she know say my game don dey enter) so what department are you?
Favour: Foundry Engineering (she's still from an engineering department though but I won't tell you the real one for security reasons).
Me: are you serious?
Favour: yea. Why should I be joking?
Me: wait. As you fine reach you dey engineering?( I provoke speak pidgen- honestly this girl suppose dey OTM or HTM, as in she nor suppose dey near perm site at all.)
Favour: I fine?
Me: no, you beautiful.
Favour: (smiles) you what department are you?
Me: Electrical Engineering.
Favour: you're not looking bad though.
Me: flatters ( for my mind, soft work).
Favour: I'm serious. But how come we've never seen each other, we all use the engineering complex you know?
Me: maybe I should ask you.
By now, we've already gotten to LHC (a lecture hall in the school you pass it first before getting to Engineering complex, my or our destination.)
Favour: are you a new intake?
Me; no o. You know since when I dey this school? I be ND2 pikin na. (kelvin you too dey talk. Answer watin dem ask you na).
Favour: same here.
Me: (for my mind, perfect match) do you have lectures now?
Favour: yeah, by 9am. What about you?
Me: ehmmm. It's by 11am. I will be having practicals now. I've actually missed the first 7am class.
Favour: hope you are serious with your studies?
Me: my result will answer that.
Favour: why not you?
Me: because with my displays in class nobody will believe I open book at home but my result told them. (honestly, upon all my play play for school generally, not just class, I had a good result attached to my name.)
Favour: maybe one day, I would see things for myself.
Me: yes na. First class nor be who collect extra sheet. Falz 2016
Favour: soft work. (laughing hard).
Me: don't tell me you know lyrics more than me.
Favour: wait. You think you can challenge me? I'm impressed though. Never thought you would like music.
By now, we were already at the entrance of Engineering complex, about passing the only hall in the complex(MPH) where I'm supposed to be learning.
We walked passed the class like it's no man's business then I heard my name. Kelvin!
Who be this mumu na(for my mind) I wish I had another name.
I turned, it's my lecturer. Which kind wahala be this na.
Me: Favour, my lecturer won't let me be o.
Favour: go na, bad boy.
Me: I should go, just like that?
Favour: yes na. I should follow you?
Me: no o. Ehm, let me have ur number.(in my mind: please don't say no o)
Favour: na im you nor fit talk since.
Me: (praise the Lord)
Favour: 08136.......
Me: thanks, see you later.
Raced to the class immediately.
Me to Lecturer: Good morning sir.
(I started hearing guys hailing me silently.)
Lecturer: are you mad?
Me: sir?
Lecturer: you dey crase? (he wasn't really serious that's why he switched to pidgen. He knows me as a good student).
Me: sir no o.
Lecturer: you don join bad gang abi?
Me: sir you know na.
Lecturer: know watin?
Me: say I be good boy.
Darlington: (a coursemate. Sitting at the back sit, shouted) Ossai you dey kolo!
The class started laughing. I don't even know what was funny.
Lecturer: who is that fool?, stand up and leave my class.
It was my turn to laugh as I watched the guy follow the back door.
Lecturer: (back to me) you don dey miss class abi?
Me: sir no o. I just ....
Lecturer: watin you won talk. You won lie abi. You miss class because of girl.
Me: sir na my sister o. She say make I show am NAPES office. (the place we were when he called me was close to NAPES office).
Lecturer: ok, usher, uya go and show her na. Just leave us.
Me: sir abeg na.
Lecturer: go jhor. In fact next week, don't come to class self, go and show her Rector's office. The class was calm today. Nobody to throw nonsense comments.
Me: sir Valentine nor come school?
Valentine was another useless boy in class. He was actually the first person to drink pure water (sachet, N10) with straw and it reigned through the whole school that year, 2016. He also disturbs class.
Lecturer: Valentine went to show somebody SEEES office too so go away.
Class: Ossai go! Animal (Fabian added)
my coursemates know how to frustrate people, I know nothing can keep me in that class, I just turned and took my leave.
Some 20 minutes later saw the lecturer leave the class.
My friends(James and Henry) came to meet me.
James: guy how far na? How you waka, why you come late?
Me: you dey crase. You call me say lecture don start?
Henry: so them go call you say lecture don start before you come school, which day that one start.
James: I wonder o.
Me: ok, I nor quick wake up.
Henry: you nor quick wake up abi you follow woman.
Me: so na you go tell me watin make me come school late abi?
Henry: uya nor vex.
Me: abeg give me note go copy jhor.
James: we nor write, we nor even learn. The Lecturer come late too so he just give us assignment.
Me: better. Uya make we dey go practical class.
Henry: see you, you nor know anything. Practical class na by 1pm. The time was changed this morning.
Me: what about the 11am class?
James: e nor go hold.
Me: thank God.
Henry: mumu, you nor won learn. Dey waste ur papa money.
Me: them tell you say na my papa dey pay my school fees? Idiot.
We left to auditorium where we do sit and gist, mock people when the need arise- all those girls wey nor sabi dress, and word-fight ourselves.
The 1pm practical came, we had it and went home.
Three of us got to my place (that's our normal route. Anyday we close from school, we go to my place first, unless we didn't close early or they had other important works at home)
James: see the assignment.
Me: wait, I wan chop first.
Henry: Idiot, na food go kill you.
Me: ok o, people wey food nor go kill nor go chop sha.
Henry: stop o.
James: Hiss, Una dey crase o.
Henry: see this one.(pointing to James, then we laughed at him)
20minutes later saw the 3 of us sweating after eating. Now it's time for assignment. First I picked up my phone to call the number Favour gave me.
What I heard from my phone can make even a Comedian cry.
Episode 3 on the way.
Happy New Month.
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